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Back to School Blues

 December 30th, 2016

{August 15, 2016}

It’s that time of the year. Your Facebook feed is buzzing with activity surrounding the start of a new school year. Parents are taking little ones back-to-school shopping. Friends are asking what time Meet-the-Teacher starts. You may not even have kids yet, but somehow you know all of the 1st and 2nd-grade teachers (by name) at the local elementary school.

It’s the start of a new school year and what does that have to do with infertility? Well, nothing … but at the same time, everything. Whether you’re experiencing primary or secondary infertility, this time of year can be hard. It’s a painful reminder that your arms aren’t full. It’s a painful reminder that you don’t have a car full of kids to load up in the pick-up line. It’s a painful reminder that you don’t have anyone to wait for at the bus stop … no one to take back-to-school pictures of. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s a painful reminder that your only child is growing up and you’re not ready. Maybe he or she is entering school for the first time and you’re mourning that it’s the only first day of kindergarten you’ll ever get to experience. Maybe the departure and spreading of wings brings a quiet house … and the silence is deafening. You want another little head to sit around your table and more food to pick up off the floor.

The start of a new school year can bring with it so many raw emotions. It’s during these times that there is a heightened focus around family, and for those experiencing infertility it can be incredibly isolating. I think it’s also important to mention that it may also be a reminder of the passing of time. Time that already creeps along so slowly when you’re living your life in two-week cycles. It’s a reminder that it’s been another year. A reminder that you and your sister both started trying last fall, and your sister just had her baby. Another year with arms that long for nothing more than to cradle a baby. Another year dreaming of a chatty 5-year-old to tell you all about her day and show you the picture she drew just for you.

Please know, this sadness you may be feeling — it’s normal. Countless women share the pain with you. We too, delete Facebook off of our phone when it’s just too much. We follow and unfollow friends. We hang our heads in sadness wishing we were scurrying to gather school supplies instead of stressing over injectable medications and hormone levels. We wish there was just one more baby left at home and the promise of another set of memories that come with these milestones.

If you’re able, take some time for yourself. Get a pedicure. Take yourself to a movie. Enjoy that piece of cheesecake. Go for a run. Reach out to a friend, a sister, a cousin. Tell them it’s hard. Tell them it hurts.

Contact Tessa (tfalk@fertilitytexas.com), at Fertility Specialists of Texas, to find out how to connect with others going through the same struggles. We may not know each other yet, but we have a common bond that connects us. And, we’re stronger together.

Hang in there, friend.



Hi! I’m a proud IVF mom of two amazing boys, thanks to the expert care at Fertility Specialists of Texas. I know, first hand, how lonely infertility can be, which is why I write personal entries for the FST blog  — it’s my way of helping break through the isolation. To let you know you’re not alone. And, neither am I. If you ever want to chat with someone who’s had empty arms, who knows the heartbreak of this journey, I’m here. And, I’d love to connect: fstivfmom@gmail.com.

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